Yesterday evening Karl and I got some news from his Mother that Karl’s youngest brother is getting married and also having a child. Instead of me being happy I threw a tantrum. I was angry because she was having a baby and not me. See almost 2 years ago I miscarried 2 babies, So after feeling sorry for myself I realized I wasn’t angry or upset about them getting married or having a baby. God made me realize that I was upset because Travis and I have never been accepted into their family we have always been the outcast. He also made me see that I thought if I had an Ashby heir then we would be accepted well, I was wrong. God made me see that I can’t be in their circle because I am in the family of God and they are sinners. As Christians we can’t fit into the sinners world. So as I cried out I asked God to forgive my angry heart and to fill it with contentment and joy. I have realized that I need to stop trying to be the daughter they desire (my husbands family) and walk away and let God work in there hearts, all I can do is pray fervently for there salvation. I am so glad that our Lord is a forgiving God. I found a verse Psalms 86:5 O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask your aid. When I kept reading that verse I thought to myself I am so thankful that I have a God who is loving and easy to forgive me of my failures and that all I have to do is ask and He will help me through it.